HOW BEING JUDGMENTAL KILLS YOUR WILLPOWER

One day in Bentonville, Arkansas, Sam Walton sat down for breakfast with a friend. Despite his wild success as the founder of Wal-Mart, Sam lived a very simple lifestyle. This included eating at this tiny neighborhood diner for many of his meals.
As he and his friend were eating, a man entered the diner. Sam turned to his friend and said, “that’s Joe. I really admire Joe. He used to be a truck driver, but decided to go into business for himself and raises chickens. Now his business is extremely successful. I have a lot to learn from Joe.”
At the time Sam Walton was personally worth about 8 billion dollars.
Here sat a man at the top of the greatest retail company in the entire world. A company that was setting records year after year for having the most sales of any company, ever!Yet, there he was in a simple Arkansas diner; telling a friend that he had a lot to learn from a man who started his own chicken farm!
This story highlights Sam Walton’s mindset. He realized the simple fact that no matter how many goals he accomplished, no matter how smart he became, or how successful his enterprise, he always had more to learn. And he did not care who it was he learned from.

WHY WE ARE NATURALLY JUDGMENTAL

Most people, including myself, would simply view Joe as “oh that farmer.” We would make a judgment call about who Joe was as a person. He is probably someone who grew up in Arkansas working on a farm all of his life. He is probably a simple, family man with a good work ethic.
That is the stereotype of an Arkansas farmer; and our brain wants us to believe it. The brain naturally wants to take the easy way out. It wants to conserve energy. If we spend our time trying to analyze every person on the street by more than what we see on the surface, then we would waste mental energy. Mental energy that can be used on more important tasks.
But this process is dangerous. Because we do not just place judgments on others, we place them on ourselves.

HOW BEING JUDGMENTAL AFFECTS YOUR WILLPOWER

When you make judgments on other people, cultures, or ideas, you train the brain to become just as judgmental on yourself. You begin criticizing yourself, feeling guilty about mistakes, and losing confidence in your abilities.
This leads to a lot of problems when trying to learn a new skill or master a new habit.When you are just starting out and inevitably run into challenges, you begin to feel bad about yourself.
You think that you should be better!
You don't judge yourself on a beginner's standards, you judge yourself on an expert's standards. This leads to a loss of motivation and willpower as you begin to doubt whether you will ever be able to accomplish your goal.
When you have this judgmental perspective, you are unable to use a specific type of willpower known as "Want Power". Want Power is that extra motivation and energy you feel when you believe in the purpose of your goal and you have faith in yourself to achieve it.
Want Power is felt when you are on the last kilometer of your 5K and you push yourself to the finish. It is felt when you see a "David beat a Goliath" and begin to believe that great obstacles can be overcome.
Being judgmental trains your brain to ignore those feelings. It causes you to lose faith in the process, to lose faith in the purpose and to lose faith in yourself. Leaving you frustrated, demotivated and ultimately unable to reach your true potential.

A BETTER PERSPECTIVE

There is a better way to see progress towards your goals and it is told through a story by Sports Psychologist, Timothy Gallwey.

“When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as 'rootless and stemless.' We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed.

When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development.

The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.”

When we are working towards our goals, we almost never think about our progress in these terms. We don't want to be "bad" at learning a new language, exercising in the gym or playing a new instrument.
We expect ourselves to be a "beautiful rose" right away! We do not appreciate theprocess of growth. We do not see the fact that we are merely in the "seed stage" and have a lot of growing to do. Instead, we condemn ourselves and say "what's the point, I'll never become a rose."
This was especially hard for me when I began writing. When I started out, I was a terrible writer. I read a lot, so I knew what great writing looked like, and I did not have it. Not even close. I would ramble, I wouldn't edit anything out, and I wouldn't communicate my main points effectively. I was bad. 
To get through this, I had to force myself to look at the process like the growth of a rose. My journey to becoming a writer was simply in the sprouting stage. I didn't need to be a great writer right away, nor do I need to be a great one today. I just need to be a better writer today than I was yesterday. Then tomorrow I need to be a better writer than I am today. As long as I keep that up, one day I will become a great writer.
When working towards your goal, think of your progress as a rose. When you start out, you are just going to be a sprout - and that's okay! You don't need to be a beautiful rose right away. You just need to continue growing every single day. If you do that, it will not be long before you reach your goal and become great.

CONCLUSION

We have a natural desire to be judgmental. Judging things is easy. It doesn't take any mental effort to stereotype and criticize the world around us. But this mindset has many negative consequences - especially when we begin judging ourselves.
Being judgmental makes you feel like you should be great at something right away. It makes the process of growth discouraging as you inevitably run into challenges along the way. This leads to doubt, frustration and ultimately a loss of motivation altogether.
Instead, look at the progress of yourself and others like the growth of a rose. Each stage of growth is necessary in order to become the final product. Simply nurture its development and have patience to allow it to grow into something great.

10 SIMPLE EXERCISES THAT WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR WILLPOWER!

“Is there a way to strengthen someone’s willpower?”

That was the question on researchers' minds as they learned more about how the science behind this human virtue. Through many tests, they had discovered thatwillpower is like a muscle - it gets tired from overuse and requires food to replenish.

So, if it does act like a muscle, can it also be strengthened?

After several studies, we have our answer! With the right practice, willpower can be strengthened just like any other muscle in the body.

Fair warning: like all practice, these workouts can be challenging. After all, you will be exerting your willpower in the same way that you would exert your legs on a run. Butthey are scientifically proven to get you results. 

So although it will be difficult in the short-term, eventually it will be easier to say no to temptations, make it to the gym and stick with your long-term goals!

1.    10 MINUTES OF MEDITATION

Meditation will give you the fastest results of all of the willpower workouts listed. By meditating you are training the brain to focus and resist the urge to wander. Research shows that after just 2-3 days of practicing meditation for 10 minutes, your brain will be able to focus better, you will have more energy, and you will be less stressed. [1]

To get started with 10 minutes of meditation, check out this article.  It will provide you with all of the benefits of mediation as well as simple exercise designed specifically for beginners.

2.    WORK ON YOUR POSTURE

When testing if willpower could be strengthened, researchers asked a group of participants to work on their posture for a 2-week period. Every time they caught themselves slouching, they were to correct themselves by sitting up straight. This simple practice vastly improved their perseverance on various willpower tests like this one.

To get started, simply correct your posture every time you catch yourself slouching at work or at home. It sounds extremely simple, but it takes willpower to sit up straight. Every time you do, you’re essentially doing “one rep” with your willpower muscle.

3.    KEEP A FOOD DIARY 

The same study also found that those who kept a food diary improved their willpower. Most of us don’t log all of the food we eat, so it takes willpower to keep track of it all. Any similar logging of information will also work, but I recommend a food diary because of all of its benefits listed here. 

To get started, I recommend downloading the MyFitnessPal App. It’s a simple food diary app that has a huge database of foods and nutrition information. Just keep the diary for 2 weeks, and it will increase your ability to resist temptations!

4.    USE YOUR OPPOSITE HAND 

Using the same methodology as with posture, researchers conducted further studies that tested other corrective actions. One that worked particularly well was to use your opposite hand. Your brain is wired to use your dominant hand, so it takes willpower to use the opposite. 

To get started, select a chunk of the day to use your opposite hand. It doesn’t need to be any more than an hour in order to get results. And from personal experience, if you aim for more than an hour, you will unnecessarily tire out your willpower muscle.

5.    CORRECT YOUR SPEECH

Another test that the researchers conducted was to change subjects’ natural speech. This includes resisting the urge to use swear words, or to say “hello” instead of “hey”. Again, it takes willpower to consciously go against your instincts. It doesn’t matter how you correct your speech, as long as you change your natural speech habits. 

To get started, select a chunk of the day to practice and choose the words you will change. Personally, I tried not using contractions (using “do not” instead of “don’t”, etc.) during work hours and it worked very well. Like all exercises listed above, doing this for just 2 weeks can vastly improve your willpower!

6. CREATE AND MEET SELF-IMPOSED DEADLINES 

Anyone who remembers their college days, remembers what it was like cramming for a test or doing a last minute paper. Your willpower gets taxed as you try to tune out distractions and become hyper-productive. Using this same principle, researchers found that by creating self-imposed deadlines you can work your willpower in the same way.

To get started, simply pick a task on your to-do list that you may have been putting off. Set a deadline for accomplishing it, and make sure you adhere to it. The participants who followed this process for 2 weeks not only got their old to-dos done, but also improved their diets, exercised more, and cut back on cigarettes and alcohol. 

7. KEEP TRACK OF YOUR SPENDING

In the same way most of us don’t track the food that we eat, many of us don’t track our spending either. Even if you don’t cut back on spending – which would also be a willpower workout – researchers found that simply keeping track of where your money went will improve your willpower. 

To get stated, try using a budgeting app like Mint. Mint can connect to your bank account, credit cards, etc. and automatically track your purchases. By simply reviewing this on a regular basis, you will see increases in your focus and ability to resist unrelated temptations like sweets.

8. SQUEEZE A HANDGRIP

For the truly determined who want to increase their perseverance, you can squeeze a handgrip until exhaustion. If you’ve ever squeezed one before, you know that it gives you a deep forearm burn. So it takes willpower to keep squeezing. 

To get started, simply get a handgrip like this one, and squeeze it with each hand until you’re exhausted. Willing yourself to continue squeezing even when it hurts will increase your perseverance on other challenging tasks.

9. CARRY AROUND SOMETHING TEMPTING

Again, for the truly determined out there, you can increase your ability to say "no" by carrying around something tempting with you all day. Researchers tried this with participants by teaching them how to resist cravings, then giving them a Hershey’s Kiss to carry around with them. Those who resisted the Kiss were much more capable of resisting other temptations in their lives as well!

To get started, first learn how to resist a craving. This will be hard, so your will want to know how to deal with the craving. Then carry something small but tempting with you.It doesn’t need to be for an entire day, but for long enough that you will be truly tempted. By consistently saying "no", you will increase your ability to resist other temptations and ignore distractions!

10. BE MORE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR AUTOMATIC DECISIONS

A final exercise is to simply be more mindful of your decisions throughout the day. We are often so lost in thought, that our actions become automatic. Taking time to think about why you are making your daily decisions will increase your ability to focus and resist temptations. 

To get started, try to catch yourself in an automatic behavior and ask yourself why you are doing it. This may be questioning why you are eating cereal instead of eggs for breakfast, or it may be questioning why exactly you put 2 sugars in your coffee. Any way you can think consciously about a typical automatic behavior will increase your focus and self-control.

CONCLUSION

Like all muscles in the body, willpower can be strengthened with the right practice. Above you will find 10 practical and effective ways to strengthen your self-control, focus and perseverance. Do not try to do all 10 at once.

Think about training your willpower muscle like training for a marathon. Your first training run wouldn’t be the full 26 miles or even close to that. You would start small and gradually build up as your muscles got stronger. So choose just 1 of these workouts to add to your daily routine.

Determine which workout seems practical and effective for the goal you want to achieve and get to work. By simply following the steps laid out, you will be well on your way to becoming more mentally strong!