REALIZED

• "Success" can't be spelled without "u." It also starts with a "suc."
• "It's the thought that counts" doesn't apply to exercise and dieting.
• The ground must love me a lot, it catches me every time I fall.
• Unnecessary warnings on product are there because someone was stupid enough to do it.
• There is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in suck.
• Edward Scissorhands should never be allowed to run.
• Taking off a band-aid hurts more than the actual cut
• If the body is mostly water, does drinking make you a cannibal?
• The words "Don't panic but..." are always immediately followed by a very good reason to panic.
• Nap time in preschool isn't for the students. It's for the teachers.
• Every marriage that doesn't end in divorce ends in death.
• Not all men are jerks, some are dead.
• When you're drunk, toilets and sinks are synonymous.
• John Lennon was killed by a fan... where are Justin Bieber's true fans?
• The lesson of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, is don't tell the same lie twice.
• Whatever doesn't kill you generally just isn't trying hard enough.
• New Zealand is Australia's Canada.