A Power That Can Move Mountains

Television actor Ram Kapoor, interview in Delhi says, “After 20 years of smoking I quit smoking overnight. From 40 cigarettes to zero, only because my daughter said to me, ‘Dada, you want to die. You want to leave me.’ It has been one year, three months since i stopped smoking.”

Ram Kapoor was addicted to smoking and under normal circumstances it was not possible for him to overcome his addiction. But one sentence from his beloved daughter had shaken him and a strong will power emerged in him. And when there is strong will power, nothing can stand before it, neither habit nor addiction or anything else.

Often people say that they cannot give up a habit. For example, they say, i cannot stop being angry, or i cannot prevent myself from becoming tense, or i cannot stop hating others, or i cannot agree to humble myself before another, for example.

All this is not because it is impossible for the person in question to do these things. The real reason is that he is not serious about developing strong will power. If he developed strong will power, he would be able to give up any habit in the same way Ram Kapoor overcame his desire to smoke.

There are two kinds of strong will power—emotion-based and reason-based. There are many people who are motivated by an emotional moment and so abandon their habit. But it is better to abandon something on the basis of reason: a person should think and apply reason to his behaviour, then give up his habit as the result of a well-considered decision.

For example, people often develop complaints about others and go on living in the complaint culture. The habit of complaining is an issue of reason and not of emotion. That is, if a person just thinks about it, he will realise that to go on complaining means being a bad member of society. A good member is one who wishes others well. This kind of thinking is possible through rational analysis. If a person thinks in this manner, he will surely develop strong will power and instantly abandon the complaint culture.

I once met a person who told me that he used to constantly feel angry with others. One day he thought that although he was the one who was angry with others, it was actually he who paid the price for this because he constantly lived in a state of tension and stress. When he realised this, he instantly took the decision to change his attitude and stop being angry.

It is commonly seen that people easily develop strong will power for their own personal interests, but where it concerns another’s interests, they do not do so. Such a person lives by double standards. If he uses his reason and recognises this as a weakness, then surely he will develop strong will power and will abandon his wrong habit.

Often after marriage rifts develop between husband and wife and then their married life is filled with bitterness. If both were to reflect that if, after marriage, they could not live in the same happy way as before marriage, it was because they had been living with their own family members with whom they had a blood relationship: now there was no such relation. Once they acknowledge this they would be able to summon the will power to correct their behaviour and so manage to lead a normal happy married life.

Develop strong will power and you will certainly be able to move mountains.

5 Body Language Tricks That Give You Power

Over 7,000 different languages are spoken around the world—so many that linguists estimate one language dies out every two weeks. But one of the most important languages to your life, one that affects your every interaction with others, is communicated without a sound.

Your brain is hyper-sensitive to body language, reading and judging others by their movements and postures on a subconscious level. Body language is perceived by a more primitive part of the brain, the limbic system. Directly connected to the visual and premotor cortexes, this information bypasses your conscious processing center, giving you an innate understanding of whether a person is weaker or more powerful than you without them saying a word. Whether you’re feeling nervous, aggressive or confident, your motions will silently communicate how you’re feeling to others.

Luckily, understanding body language cues can help you project confidence and avoid weakness. Tonight, Brain Games investigates the science of power poses; and these five moves equal dominance:

1. Show your thumbs.

Do you fold your hands or fidget with your fingers when you speak? Pay careful attention to your thumbs. The thumb is your dominant finger, strongest in motor function, and its movement can reveal to others how you’re feeling. When you’re feeling confident or powerful, your hands literally become more territorial, expanding the space between your fingers.

On the flip side, this space disappears when you feel insecure or stressed, causing you to tuck your thumbs under your fingers. As a result, others may see you as fearful or lacking confidence if your hands are fidgeting and your thumbs hidden, as seen in this woman below. 

2. Teepee your fingers.

If your hands dictate how others judge your confidence, teepeeing your fingers is the ultimate power play.

A popular move among world leaders, placing your hands in a steeple gesture signals confidence and dominance over others, indicating that you’re thinking or evaluating something. To achieve this posture, lightly touch your fingertips together with your hands pointing up, in the shape of a church’s steeple, like the man below. The light touch is important – using this posture too forcefully can convey arrogance. Similarly, pointing your hands downward in this motion can show that you’re attentive and listening to someone, a move you also may want to use.

3.  Hold your head high – and don’t touch your neck.

If you’re feeling nervous, focus on keeping your hands planted in front of you. Touching your neck is a common self-soothing action people use in responding to stress. Your neck hosts nerve endings that reduce your blood pressure and lower your heart rate when stroked, so people instinctually reach for their necks when they’re nervous and need to calm down. When you rub the back of your neck, fiddle with a necklace or fix your tie, you’re signaling to others that you’re in distress.

Touching your neck isn’t the only way to signal nerves. When you’re lacking confidence in your situation, your neck even starts to disappear, as your shoulders rise and your head sinks in. Neck shrinking is also a cue for lying or deception. So if you’re feeling nervous in an unpleasant situation, fight the urge to behave like this distressed-looking man below. Keep your hands away from your neck and hold your head high.

4. Take up space.

Posture is another crucial body language cue. Taking up space by making yourself larger indicates power, while shrinking into your chair or slumping over a smartphone dictates the opposite.

Researchers have found that posing expansively results in elevated levels of testosterone, the hormone linked to confidence and power, and decreases cortisol levels, which may lower anxiety. Another recent Harvard study concluded that that practicing expansive poses before a high-stress setting, like a job interview or presentation, can improve performance.

If you want to command respect from others, stand or sit up straight and keep your arms uncrossed and away from your sides. However, expanding your body too much – like this man below – can indicate aggression. Be wary of encroaching on other people’s personal space.

5. Stand up.

Elevating yourself over other people is a serious power pose. Standing commands attention and respect from others, while sitting down is more passive.

If you’re really trying to dominate in a situation, stand and lean slightly forward, placing your hands down on a table. Whether you’re finishing a presentation, negotiating a situation or closing a deal, standing and leaning forward shows to others that you’re in a position of dominance.

source- Nationalgeographic